House not for Sale!

Okay, so I'm getting excited about being on the final stretch here in E-town. A lot of my friends have had to deal with selling their houses as they leave. As we have been renting, I don't have to, but I was thinking about how hard it is to sell. I think I'll try a Real Estate ad for our house. Just to see if anyone out there would bite.

For SALE - Townhouse.
Built in 1960's, no new updates.

Full backyard (approx 12x14 ft), with half-sized fencing....for as little privacy as possible from the open field and the 12 other houses backing onto it.
We also have a front garden bed that has the dryer blowing lint into it every time creating a beautiful WHITE effect in your garden...


All painted in 'Navajo White' so that it can match everything (except white of course).

The floors are finished throughout the entire house in linoleum (not laminate) and were made to match local shopping malls such as the famous West Edmonton Mall. The floors are wonderful as they look just as clean after you sweep as before, hiding any dirt that you would want from your guests.


The house is an architectural masterpiece with the stairs splitting the house into 2 halves minimizing the usable square footage. Oh, and speaking of the stairs - these babies were built explicitly with your children and your figure in mind.




Not only can you save money by not buying a stair-master due to the extreme steepness and narrowness of each step, but they are solid wood, so those slips down the stairs are full of cushiony happiness. The stairs to the basement have their own little flair in that they are just wide enough apart that your kids can play on them by dangling their feet and legs - and pretty much their entire bodies through the "open back feature". Stairs that are great for the whole family!

Now, speaking of the family, this sweet deal also has a smaller fridge for your family. Not only can the adults have a great view of the top of the fridge, but the kids have easy access to the fridge AND the freezer.

Now, no house would be complete without many a wonderful window well of goodness. This is a great place to exercise your arms when you clean out the vast amounts of mold that grow like annuals - every spring. This mold isn't just any mold though, it has given every baby born in this complex, that I have met, Asthma - This could also be incentive because it's a law suit waiting to happen...


This place has 3 bedrooms that might be able to fit a queen sized bed (no dressers please) and 1 bathroom found on the top level.


It has 1 perfect sized mirror (who needs to see more than their face, right?).


and the largest linen closet EVER - check THIS baby out....


When you are looking for a house, you are told it's about LOCATION, right? So here's a little bit about where we are. We face right onto a major road kitty-corner from a Jr High (those angel kids). We also have a luxury of a bus stop right in front of our house. We get to hear buses coming and going all day - this has been wonderful for Jarett going to school, and it has also kept the kids from even thinking about running into the road. We ARE about 2 blocks from the church and temple and have VERY quick access to our beautiful city's major highway. We also have this beautiful landmark "U" tree which says this deal is perfect for "U"!
Of course, the neighbours are superb. We've only heard about 3 or 4 death threats since we arrived and the neighbourhood kids are plenty (tho' parents are few)....
Can't believe we're leaving this place. It sure has been a gem over the last 3 years (will be 4 when we go). Sigh, I guess we all have to move on in life....

Either way, we haven't decided on a price, let me know what you'd be willing to pay and we'll negotiate. It's hard to pass up on a deal like this... Anyone interested?


This is making me think about being a Realtor - I think I have the touch...
(Oh, and just in case anyone is wondering why we ever moved here in the first place, I just have to say, "Subsidized housing baby!! - $120/month! Gotta love Edmonton Housing)