(Note: This was written in the hospital, finished on June 11, 2014. I wanted to wait until I had some pictures to go with it before posting.)
This last year has sure taken us on a ride. One year ago, I was 100% sure we were done
having kids and adding to our family. Although
I wasn’t too happy about it, it felt like it was the responsible thing to
do. I had quite a scare with Benson and
his whole delivery, it made me realize in a very real way that I could have
died and/or lost a baby. When thinking
about this, I just couldn’t bring myself to feel like I could have another one. One day, however, it all changed.
As soon as I confirmed that I was pregnant, I started to worry about everything. It really
was a weird flip for us as I was feeling panicky and Jarett was totally
calm. He usually is worried from the
second I tell him we’re having a baby until the baby is born and all is
well. This time I felt so concerned and
he simply said, “It has to be Heavenly Father’s hand in this, so it’s His will
and it will be okay”. That perspective
kept me in line for the remainder of the pregnancy and it was of great comfort
to me.
The pregnancy wasn’t a particularly easy one. I don’t usually get sick to my stomach, so I
am very fortunate in comparison to other women, but I was nauseated for the
first 3 months straight and lost about 8 pounds. I wanted to throw up constantly. This was especially difficult because we
didn’t tell the kids until just before Christmas. We didn’t want them to know until we knew
everything was okay via Ultrasound. It
was hard to feel so crummy and not have them know why.
The Ultrasounds all went well. I met up with my OB and she walked me through
all the appointments that we’d be having etc.
I knew I was in good hands, but I also knew (without a doubt – and felt
happy about the decision) that we were going to be done after this one. She was a surprise, but it was a gift from my
Heavenly Father letting me have that wish of my heart that I would’ve have been
able to do on my own.
I knew that things would be higher risk and they sure were,
but Dr Heather Edwards knew what was going on and has taken excellent care of
me. I was set up for a scheduled
C-section at 38 weeks immediately along with a pre-op anesthetic
screening. There were also a few
ultrasounds and a fair bit of blood work.
She was measuring quite large for her gestational age, but otherwise,
her health was just smooth sailing.
There were some worries about my anterior placenta (as to whether it
would be in the way of surgery and also whether it would be close to my
previous C-section scars and cause a problem that way) but everything moved
where it was supposed to and everything has gone well.
I did have a ridiculous amount of Heartburn this time
around. Couldn’t go anywhere without my tums!
The biggest frustration, however, which really put me out was my
pelvis. This has been the case for most
of my pregnancies, but hit a new level this time.
I started doing physiotherapy as soon as I could and I kept
my hips as fine-tuned as I could, but by the end, my leg was falling out of the
socket, my whole pelvis was rotating and my sacrum was collapsing into my
pelvis. By the end of each day, I
couldn’t really move. Jarett has been a
DREAM. He has come home from a hard day
at work and not only made dinner, but cleaned it up and put the kids to bed. He has put me to bed while he tidies up the
house and has rubbed my feet, gotten me tums and done anything he possibly can
to try and keep me comfortable. It has
been (in it’s non-traditional way) very romantic. I have fallen in love with him all over again
(as embarrassing as it is at times) as he has literally served me hand and foot
and seen to my every need. He has shown
so much concern with every contraction or pain I felt. Man, I married a GOOD man!
~The happenings of June 9th, 2014~
Things go as planned!
We get to the hospital at the designated time.. . kids all slept at my
mom’s the night before. We were
admitted, had lab work done, got the IV going and went into the OR at about
8. They prepped me there, gave me a
spinal tap and had me on the table before letting Jarett in. Shortly after he came in, they were ready to
go. I had been told that I would feel
touch, but not pain. I was prepared for
that. Shortly after they started,
however, I felt pain. The resident
anesthesiologist asked gently if I could use anything and then gently guided a
nurse to go grab some Fentinol. In the
meantime, I may have broken Jarett’s hand with the amount of squeezing
involved. ;) Once I got my Fentinol, things went well. I actually fell asleep for a minute and
missed the actual delivery, but heard her sweet cry and fell in love before I
even saw her. My bitter disappointment
was strictly that I couldn’t hold her yet and I had a hard time really seeing
her.
After I was stitched up and in recovery, I got to hold her
and love her to bits. She is so
beautiful, has a fair bit of blonde hair and LOVES a good swaddle and a
soother. We learned this the hard way on
her first night. She had been an angel
all day, never even a peep. We had the
kids come visit with Granni and Bucey.
We had Aunty Kimmy come and Gran, Grandpa and Granny Jubber came while
Kim was still here. Through all this,
our new little princess was as good as gold and didn’t fuss at all. As soon as I decided to go to bed, she woke
up and didn’t stop screaming until 6am (unless she was nursing – which meant I
didn’t rest much at all. She was really
congested and had some gas… so after they were able to clear her nose and after
she had a few dirty diapers, she’s back to being a pretty good little baby.
One little problem, however, remained. Her name.
Names are usually extremely difficult for Jarett and I. We just don’t really see eye to eye on them –
especially for girls. Jarett likes names
that are WAY out there and I like names that are recognizable, rememberable and
readable… but still unique. We have not
felt settled on a name for this whole pregnancy. We went through so many names…
seriously. Two finalists were Ally and
Leia. I was thrilled to have made a
shortlist (although we still had no idea what to do for a middle name). Both of us didn’t feel settled enough with
Ally or Leia and therefore went back and forth on them. Then, I heard that Jarett’s cousin Kennedy
had a baby girl and had named her Lanaya.
This was a name that we had both loved when we had Saryn, but just
didn’t feel settled about it for Saryn. I
fell in love with it all over again and it felt perfect… except that we had a
relative with the same name now.
Luckily, it was a distant enough relative that Jarett was okay with it –
AND his cousin, Kennedy, was fine with us using it too. We both were excited about it, but the middle
name was hard. We both have really tried
to use names of people we have known and admired., people who have fought the
fight and endured. There were a few
options we thought about, but either didn’t like how it worked with the last
name or we worried about offending someone etc.
Jarett had a thought a few weeks back to see who Reynolds Cahoon’s wife
was. Reynolds was a good friend of the prophet,
Joseph Smith and is in the Doctrine and Covenants a few times. Jarett is a direct descendent of his, so he
thought this could be cool. We hadn’t
checked it out, but he felt like maybe we should again. Thanks to Family Search online, we looked it
up. Thirza Stiles. Thirza.
Ugh. Not a great name. Jarett suggests Stiles and it seems to work
for me, but we didn’t know anything about her.
Who was she? No problem. Just a little look online and we find a biography. She had 7 kids, one of which was named
Mahonri Moriancumr by the prophet as a revelation of the name of the brother of
Jared. She also was the mother of
William Farrington Cahoon (whose line we are descended from as well), who went
on Zion’s Camp, was a member of the first quorum of the 70, whose marriage was
the first marriage in the church and who served multiple missions. Thirza was one of the first 26 members of the
Relief Society, put on the wedding for William Farrington (feeding over 3000
people) and was one of the pioneers that travelled with Brigham Young to Winter
Quarters and then to Salt Lake City. She
seemed to pass the test. We knew we had
a middle name. Our little girl was
Lanaya Stiles.
Some other hiccups in the last couple of days have been my
hematocrit and my eyes. My hematocrit is
lower than they’d like, but still not as bad as after I had Benson. I don’t think I’ll end up having a transfusion. Bleeding has slowed down and iron pills have
been increased. I think my numbers will
too. The eye thing is weird though. On May 5, I was eating lunch and suddenly
half of my lunch looked blurry. It felt
like I had just had a huge flash of light in my eyes and I couldn’t really see
(when my eyes were open or closed).
Troy, my brother-in-law, told me that this is a huge sign of
pre-eclampsia and to go to the hospital.
They tested my blood pressure and my urine. Both were good to go, so I was sent
home. I told Dr Edwards about this later
and she said that eyes do weird things due to hormones, but her concerns were
that if it WASN’T hormones it could be mini-strokes at the back of my eyes OR one
of my retinas could be detaching. She
had seen these both in pregnancy before.
I was told that if it reoccurred, to go to the hospital and suggest
these options as well. It did continue
happening, but would always clear up after half an hour or so. Anyway, now that she’s born, I thought that
would be over with, but now my eyes are acting up again (predominantly my left)
and so I’m hoping to see an opthomologist before I head home from the
hospital. (Dr Edwards ruled out the
mini-strokes because I’m taking Heprin shots daily).
Anyway, that’s where I am at this point. I’m just waiting to see if my hematocrit is
behaving and if I can see an opthomologist sometime today. It’s actually quite difficult to see the
computer screen as I type this. There’s
a weird light shaped rainbow blocking my vision.
I hope that over the next few weeks I’ll have recovered
quickly. This C-section has been a
tender recovery. Hopefully healing
thoughts and being able to take it easy will be frequent. This little princess is sure worth it either
way!
Update: Eye thing and hematocrit worked out just fine. All is well!
2 comments:
Ashley I'm so happy for you. It's funny how we think we have things planned and Heavenly Father has something else in mind. Yet we wouldn't change it for the world, right? She's darling and I love that her middle name has such a great heritage. I'm sure she's not lacking in the love department. Congrats and I hope things continue to get better (glad the eye thing is ok!)
Fun to read the whole story! She's lovely Ashley and I'm so sorry that you had so much pain during your pregnancy. Thanks goodness for Jarett!
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