I was a little surprised by a comment left on my last blog. I feel as though I am a mom that tries her best - but that definitely isn't perfect. This has motivated me to make this post. I also have been reading other blogs that are revealing what they are really like. They are showing their imperfections and I love it!! It really isn't too hard for me to find some flaws of mine, but I'm going to get this off my chest. Hope it either makes you feel better about yourself or gives you some insight as to the goings on in my home. I am slightly worried that my mom and mother-in-law might be appalled with me, but I'm sure they felt this way from time to time too.... Anyway, here goes.
*I feed my kids cereal almost every morning (it isn't sugary junky cereal, it's the whole grain stuff but it's cereal none the less).
*I ensure that my kids have all their servings of fruits and vegetables etc, but I am a total hypocrite. I hardly ever eat fish and I frequently grab little candies etc. through the day (I would never let them do this).
*I do not enjoy nursing my babies. I do it strictly because I know it's the best thing for my kids.
*I might gripe a fair bit about how hard it is to stay home, but I actually am really glad that I don't have to work. I feel sorry for the men in our lives who are out there working like crazy.
*There are some days, however, that I think working out in the field would be really nice.
*There are days that I'm sure that Jarett has done more than I have (just at home, nevermind his work load). It seems as though most days he'll be the one who makes dinner and does dishes too. I really don't know if I could function without him.
*I have a goal to do laundry every day. It just doesn't get overwhelming that way and it's a small job done frequently. This very very rarely pans out. Sometimes I'll get the laundry basket down the first flight of stairs one day, the second flight the second day and then it'll sit in the basement for another day before I actually get it IN the machine. Once I rotate it through, I leave it in the dryer for another day and then fold it and then the next day I carry it upstairs. Once it sits there for a day or two, I'll put it away.....but by then I'm carrying the next load down the first flight of stairs.
*My mom took my kids from Tues - Fri last week so I could have a break and it might have been one of the best weeks of my life. I felt so free. I seriously can't thank her enough.
*I have never made homemade bread - ever. Unless banana bread counts. I have made buns - but not in the last 3 years. This might change though. I just got a really good bread recipe from my Mother-in-law that I'm going to try. If you want it, I have it posted on my family's recipe blog.
*I don't let my kids paint
*I don't let my kids play with play-dough
*I groan at the very word of "craft" because I know that it is synonymous with "MESS".
*My kids watch at least 1 movie a day. Some are only 20 minutes and some are 2 hours, but they watch at least one. Hey, at least it's not TV where I don't know what they're watching.
*When I send my children downstairs to clean the basement, I am expecting them to NOT do it fast. I am expecting them to cry and complain and get distracted and play with the toys. This makes it a 1-2 hour job instead of the 5 minute job it would be. (The reason this is a bad thing is because I enjoy the 1-2 hour time slot this allows me to clean up the other two floors, type up a blog and maybe even prepare dinner).
*I might be a computer addict - my mom called me on that a while ago, but I am cutting back!
*We don't have TV - not because I have noble goals, but because it costs money and I know that I would completely lose track of time and get even less done should I have it.
*I have gone more then 3 days without showering. More commonly I make it to the 3 day mark. It's not something I'm proud of, it just happens.
*My kids are usually only bathed once a week. In fact, Kienna thinks that if I give her a bath it means that tomorrow is Sunday. This is mostly because Kaia and Saryn have bad eczema and my doctor told me to only bathe when necessary as it aggravates the skin.
*I take showers that are probably double the length of the ones I used to take. I might be a little bit more dirty, but it's mostly just standing in the shower enjoying the water and not being able to hear anything else..... no whining, no crying and no demands. Does this work? Sometimes. This is also one of the reasons my kids watch movies. I get a chance to shower - YAY!
*I LOVE Disney movies. I frequently have them on for me more than the kids. Sometimes I fight over which movie to watch just as much as they do because I want to see my favorite one.
*I frequently have my 4 and 6 year old do errands for me. If I need a diaper, a can of corn or something thrown in the garbage, Kienna and Kaia are my little helpers. This is especially true if I need something put in or taken out of the basement. I am actually scared of the basement (which I have just discovered I inherited from my mom).
*I secretly hope bad things happen to perfect people.
*I didn't take my kids tobogganing even once this whole winter. I hate the cold THAT much. It wasn't worth bundling my kids up to go stand out in the cold for that long.....especially with a newborn.
*I sometimes blame my kids for things that happen that were really out of their control. For example, Saryn colours on the floor. This is Kaia's fault because she should have noticed it. Hmmm, maybe I should have noticed too??
*I have punished Saryn by showering her. Not with hot or cold water, just a nice shower. She just really doesn't like the shower head. Even the suggestion of a shower gets her to be good immediately. Hey, it works! She wouldn't EVER stay in bed. I had tried everything. Being nice, being mean, not paying any attention, just putting her back into bed....you name it. I said, "Saryn, if you get out of bed again, you're going to have a shower" and we haven't really had a problem since. She might have some hygiene problems later in life, but for now....it works like a charm.
*It can take me up to 6 months to finally tackle a stain on my couch, walls or floors that has been bugging me.
*I have OCD tendencies in organization, but not in regimines. I only work well on a schedule, but I don't have the discipline to follow them....therefore, I don't always work well.
*I truly believe that I have the most beautiful children in the world. My friends are at a close second and those I don't know.....well, some of their kids are funny looking (some are really beautiful too). I'm not biased, I just know the best looking people.
*I frequently don't know what is wrong with my kids when they are sick. After four kids, people seem to think you know everything, but I REALLY REALLY don't. I am flattered by the questions, but I usually give some off the cuff advise and then say, "Oh, I don't know" afterwards. That way I look like I've learned something in my 6 years of being a mom.
Well, I think I have neglected my children again long enough.....I better get to it. So, anywhere there's some dirty laundry for you to look at. Ironic that as I typed this, I had my kitchen floors coloured on by Saryn.....truly, I realize I'm not perfect.....but I AM trying to get better every day. It just seems to be a really really SLOW and steady process.
19 comments:
i loved this post!!! it's so nice to know i'm not the only one on at lot of those points.
You are brave and wonderful. Don't let that crazy anonymous lunatic get under your skin. THanks for sharing yourself. We should all be so brave as to really let it all hang out. BUt now I want to see you post all your best qualities. You've focused on the downside and we all have those. Now go for it and find all your best qualities. I know if you have a hard time confessing good things about yourself that we can all help- we see the great stuff. It is good for us to be honest about our faults. It helps others that are hurting inside -thinking they are so awful. They are just normal.
I laughed through that because I am the same way on 90% of those things! I am the exact same when it comes to laundry and it drives Rob crazy. I will have to tell him I am not the only one that does it. I am also a computer addict...or more so a blog addict. We are going to move the computer out of the kitchen so that I am not so tempted! Ahhh..so many similarities. I love it when other moms are real and serious, it makes me feel normal :)
Also, I am shocked and so sad that someone would leave such a mean comment on your blog. They OBVIOUSLY do not have children, and if they do, I feel sorry for the kids because they are probably so protected from a neurotic parent that the kids will go crazy when they turn into teenagers. I have never heard of a child dying from being out in the snow for 10 minutes, it is not like it was -40C. I even saw on Oprah that in Sweden the mothers put their babies out in the freezing cold for a half to whole hour a day, it makes them stronger and healthier! Perhaps this "anonymous" person should put their time and effort into kids that really need a voice like those that are abused and seriously neglected.
Ashley, you are an awesome mom, I hope you don't feel bad for one second. I think you are fabulous and I think you are real and doing an incredible job. (sorry for the novel here).
P.S This is why I changed my comment preferences and I don't allow anonymous comments on my blog.
That anonymous comment was hilarious. I bet that person has no kids or has 1 and follows them 24/7 and that kid will have some major issues. I love that you grab the camera, it's not like she was in danger! Some people are so judgmental and need to grow some balls if they are going to leave a comment own up to it! Someone left one on mine and said that since mine sleeps with a blanket she will suffocate. BTW that post was awesome, I guess i should enjoy the time while I still have 1
I had to go to your last post and read what spurred it, and I have to totally agree, I will post it this week, a friend had this pass on thing on her blog where you go and take pictures of different rooms of your house right now (as in not after they are cleaned and prepped for photos) It can be very enlightening. You have got to laugh at the things life throws you and enjoy life, enjoy your kids, ALL 4 OF THEM and make more beautiful; babies if that is what you feel is right for your family. Love Ya!
I love people who feel the need to comment on their honest opinion but are to scared to leave a name... silly annonymous. I think you are a great mom, and even though my kid is only 1 month old I am thrilled he is sleeping so I CAN BLOG! It makes my day sometimes.
PS I want to change my blog settings to ALLOW anonymous comments just to see what people REALLY think and for some entertainment value!
Love it!! It's so honest. You're one of my fav. people, I hope you know that. I think that's the whole goal sweetpea, as long as you are trying your best then it's all good. I feel like an inadequate wife often. Poor Kent gets neglected but it's good for him sometimes, gets him to appreciate me more :)
I have the same laundry goal. One a day. I don't have any stairs to walk up/down, and it still doesn't happen. Oh! And I am very happy to know that you know the most beautiful people!!
I completly fit with every one of these comments and could add another 20 to it.
What a great post! I'm sorry you had a yucky comment....You are delightful! Way to enjoy the journey! By the way- I'm a fan of sugar cereal and disney movies...and putting off laundry as long as possible :)
I'm currently reading blogs to avoid doing my laundry! You are such a sweet, sincere person and a wonderful mom.
LOVE it ashley. isn't it great that so many people are feeling or doing the same things?! i happen think you are an amazing mom, and this isn't a new thought, i've had it for quite a while. your kids are great smart kids because of you. and that anon comment is really really something else, almost laughable because it's so pathetic. you are real on here it's my favorite thing when people are real about life.
thanks for sharing. You are an awesome person and fantastic Mom. I was a little upset when I read that person's comment on your last post. If they knew you they would never have said that. I pride myself in my non-perfectionism and have learned to laugh at myself...it makes life a ton funner. I will never be more then a goofball I think...and I hope....never a perfect Mom....I don't want that title for even a second.
Wow you are brave! Some things I didn't even know about you...like wanting bad things to happen to perfect people...oh maybe because you meant me, didn't you and that's something you wouldn't tell me! Ha ha! Cuz I can't relate to anything you wrote! Just kidding...way to many of those hit home...but I won't say how many because I'm not as brave as you! luv ya!
Just a few: 1) You don't want bad things to happen to perfect people...you goofball!! I know you better than that! 2) The laundry I believe... I'll get you in the habit this summer...lots of practice!!!! 3) If you had taken all four of those kids tobogganing by yourself I would think you'd need your head examined!! They did go at Christmas time remember...it was fun...maybe you stayed home with Jaymeson...who happens to be another great reason to have not taken your kids tobogganing in a frozen wasteland the year he was born!! 4) Better get cookin' though...looking forward to those gourmet meals every night as promised!!! 5) I've seen those OCD tendencies in organization...you can put them to use around here too! 6) You do a great job and I love you!!!
Okay, I loved this enough and laughed at it enough that I had to read it to Steve, who also loved and laughed at this much. Steve says it's such a good response to awfulness and is so funny that it could be published. I think we laughed hardest at the shower punishment. Our kids have the same fear. We haven't used it against them, but understood EXACTLY and thought that was so funny. I get down on myself once in awhile for my mistakes and downfalls as a mom and wife, but it's so important to know that NONE of us is perfect and even more important to be able to laugh at it. You are a fabulous mom who takes such good care of her children and faces the normal thoughts that so many of us face. Thanks for sharing.
Ashley! I love this post! You ARE brave to be so honest. Saying it in conversation is not quite the same as putting it in print. I totally agree with many of your points. Imagine all the guilt I carry around being a full time student too! Oh, the horror! *haha* All we can do is do our best and the Lord knows that.
Kids to crazy silly things and will more often than not, put themselves in silly or otherwise compromising situations. As parents, it's our right to laugh and enjoy the journey of it all. And of COURSE take pictures so that posterity can enjoy the story of it someday.
C'est la vie, mon ami!
I love your spunk, Zanzurki!
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