"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." (Elizabeth Stone)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Birth Order

I just received this email and I thought there was just way too much truth to it.... so mothers, ENJOY!!


1st baby:
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last

time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette
:
1st baby:
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper,

a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten

to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until

you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it

off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every hour,

whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:
You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others start to

complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________________________________

Activities:
1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,

Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,

you call home five times.
2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to

leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby:
You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from

the children
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully

watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
______________________________

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE IT!

stone's eye view said...

too funny!!

Alysha Sladek said...

hahaha that was great. loved it!